A student tweeted about a test, and the next day it was the teacher’s desktop background.
Cough basalisk cough
fifteen fucking feet AND 2,502 POUNDS ARE YOU SHITTING ME
what if he was friendly and carried his friends on his back you know his name not his story
Or “his” gender. Could be a she. Or neither.
They say depression and intelligence go hand in hand, well this is Einstein and his therapist.
this breaks my heart
i reblog this every time because i think its an honest reminder of just how human everyone is plus he looks damn adorable
yes sadness is adorable
all women were bigger and stronger than you
and thought they were smarter
women were the ones who started wars
too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos
and no K-Y Jelly
the state trooper
who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike
was a woman
and carried a gun
the ability to menstruate
was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs
your attractiveness to women depended
on the size of your penis
every time women saw you
they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands
women were always making jokes
about how ugly penises are
and how bad sperm tastes
you had to explain what’s wrong with your car
to big sweaty women with greasy hands
who stared at your crotch
in a garage where you are surrounded
by posters of naked men with hard-ons
men’s magazines featured cover photos
of 14-year-old boys
tucked into the front of their jeans
and articles like:
“How to tell if your wife is unfaithful”
“What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate”
“The truth about impotence”
the doctor who examined your prostate
was a woman
and called you “Honey”
you had to inhale your boss’s stale cigar breath
as she insisted that sleeping with her
was part of the job
you couldn’t get away because
the company dress code required
you wear shoes
designed to keep you from running
And what if
after all that
women still wanted you
to love them.
For the Men Who Still Don’t Get It, written 20 years ago by Carol Diehl.
She wrote a post about the history of this poem that is worth reading.
No matter how many reblogs this gets!
Whether it be 1 or 1,000,000 either way I will be shocked that you think I’ll remember to do it. But I’ll try.
I probably won’t even do this properly and end up sending you random Lonely Island lyrics and maybe a nursery rhyme or 2.
Aw fuck. Don’t worry! I’ll get to it.
The 1,000th reblog I will make them their own song.
MY MIND IS BLOWN! 😱😦
Have a history teacher explain this if they can.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln’s secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy’s Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named “Ford.”
Kennedy was shot in a car called “Lincoln” made by “Ford.”
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here’s the “kicker”:
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.AND……………….:
Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse…
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theater…
I saw this had to share just in case anyone did not know.
WAIT WHAT IS HAPPENING.
I blame Moffat. I blame him for everything now.
Why do you have to be such a fucken ass hole! If you want to treat your fucken mistress of fucken six years better than my mom and us than why don’t you just fucken leave… Is this just a place you stay before you are able to go see them? Wtf!? How can you throw away 28 years with your wife and kids for a plain shut like her!?
reblog and make a wish!
this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)
OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.
THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.
The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.
AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.
THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.
I made my wish.
I dont fucken get it? Is she trying to make me look bad in front of my mom?
She says she has to clean, do dishes, and shower because she has to go to the store.
She’s been done cleaning! WTF!? Does she expect me to help her with?
She’s sitting down!!!! WATCHING TV! LIKE ALWAYS!!
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